I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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