I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize