So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
if only i could text you this smell
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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