i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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