i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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