I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
