There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
