no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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