Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Even my vagina gasped.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
