I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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