You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
