3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
