2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
