Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
it wasn't lemon gatorade
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
