Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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