My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
