careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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