new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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