My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
