Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Sex in the backyard? Check.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
