yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize