I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i think we sleep fucked last night...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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