non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize