weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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