I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
