Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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