That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
