nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
