Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize