As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
