my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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