foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Randomize
