yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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