question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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