I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize