This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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