woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
this boner is exhausting
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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