You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
