Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My liver just had a heart attack.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
