So drunk its hurt
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize