If that was your dad, he is hot
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
