just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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