why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
