My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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