I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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