Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
