omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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