She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
one two three fourrrrnication!
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
