You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
