How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
