I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
