You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
