my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
