so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i came on her dog
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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