dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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