so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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