Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Randomize
