i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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