Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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