I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
