If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
