he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I believe in your delicious
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
