Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
