i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Randomize
