Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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