Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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