I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I have fence marks all over my body
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
