so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
