i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
